Bikesure F.C was formed last year due to the fact there was nothing else to do on a Thursday evening but drink ( which isnt a bad thing ). We meet every Thusday evening at the local astro turf and attempt to pass ourselves off as footballers for an hour.
So if theres anyone out there who wants to take on the might and power of Bikesure FC, kindly bugger off because were rubbish!!!
Meet the team
Kyle “Minty” Benefer – like Hayley’s comet, can be seen passing once every 75 years
Dean “Egg” Twiddy – passing to him is like kicking it against a brick wall, could go anywhere
John “Turbo” Mellish – Faster then Usain Bolt over 100 metres – fact!
Pete “Zilla” Sanctuary – one of those annoying blokes who is good at everything!
Matthew “soppy b***ocks” Sopp – can often be seen shouting the odd swear word at his team, apparently for encouragement!
Phil “philski” Owen – more tricks up his sleeve then Paul Daniels – that’s magic!
Grant “welsh wizard” Varnham – lob me a ball from 70 yards and i’ll slot it home, pass it to me in front of an open goal and over the bar it goes!
Richard “the horn” Rowsell – started off looking like Mr Tickle, now more like Mr tackle ( granted that does sound a bit odd )
Jason ” the fridge ” Masters – big bloke, rubbish centre of gravity….goes down more than……..um………..um…………..Reading.
Tom ” Cassius ” Clay – that one player in your team that thinks he has the tricks then always falls on his arse – to the great pleasure of the rest of the team!
Adam ” Holbinho ” Hollinger – seems to be absolutely fascinated by his feet, always starring at them, even when he passes
Harry ” Sports Bra ” O’Donnell – imagine watching a Linford Christie’s lunch box running the 100 metres, now imagine him with man boobs…….Harry!
Rob ” Chopper ” Balls – hell of a right foot ping on him, unfortunately hell of a nack of tackling……even without the ball being anywhere near him….amazing!
Duncan ” Liability ” Garrick – often gets voted the man of the match…….for the opposing team!
Kevin “big man ” Lee – frustrated striker, the bloke is 7 foot tall but has a head like a 50p – when he pulls back for a strike, the force can be felt as far as Luton.